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Help Portland stay in the race in this competition. So far California is beating us....

The 2010 Portland Urban Iditarod filled in record time. All 100 teams were registered by 7:30 a.m. this morning. I wish I could fit every team in, but I am limited to permits and fire codes for check points. For those of you who did not make it I hope to see you next year.

Mush!

Lead Dog

I've been working on the registration issue... The registration company had a system check and did not record the proper registration start time. Registration has been delayed to Feb 2 at 12:01 a.m. I'm sorry for keeping you all up two nights in a row. Trust me I wish I could have been asleep too...

Past team captains follow the same instructions as your email, but change the start date to Feb 1.

An email from Drunken Rampage Events:

There is a lot of misinformation every year, 'cause the cacos think it is funny. Fair enough; it's their event after all.

BUT, there is some really shitty/shady stuff out there, so I sat down with the Santa coordinators and have info for you.

DEC 5 - This is AntiCon. it is a huge, fun, ,Santa-themed pub crawl run by some really cool folk in NoPo. It is not Santacon in the same way the Rose Bowl is not the Superbowl. Both top-notch things that look act an feel a lot alike, but are different events. When people tell you otherwise, piss on their boots so they smell bad all night. It meets in NoPo, and nowhere else. Dec 5 groups that try to lure you to Skidmore and other places are tricking you.

Dec 12 - This is NOT IN ANY WAY A SANTACON IN PDX. (It is Santacon in Seattle) Each January, Santas from three cities pick three Saturdays in December and start planning. This is so we don't have to choose which one to attend. Vancouver, BC gets one, Seattle gets one, Portland gets one. It is called "TriSanta." This year we got the one close to Xmas because it was simply our turn.

Dec 19 - This is Santacon in PDX. It will NOT meet at Skidmore due to legal issues, but it won't be in Hillsboro (promise). It will be announced soon, and will only be a few blocks away from Skidmore. If you get lost, look for the long string of Santas that disregarded this message and are hurrying to catch up with Santa before they miss out on the event. They will be walking generally south and slightly west.

There is ONE official Santacon website, which for the last 12 years has been portland.cacophony.org. There are two reliable ones that are http://santaconpdx.com/ (new, and note the official Santarchy logo, used with permission from the artist who created the iconic imate a while ago.) and Santarchy.com (slightly out of date).

ALL OTHER WEBSITES CLAIMING TO BE OFFICIAL SANTACON INFO SITES ARE SCAMS. I would say "trust them at your own risk," but ya know what? FUCK THEM. Egg their house, shave their dog and shit in their drinking water, these people are fucking with you. All the other websites claiming to be Santacon sites were created in the last few weeks, and not a damn one of them sent a representative to a Santacon planning meeting so they don't have any idea what the fuck they are talking about.

Sincerely,

A Santa with 8 Santacons under his stained and smelly belt.

Other alternate titles could read PDX Santacon WTF, Santacon Sold Out, Santacon Canceled, but my favorite is Everyones Santacon.

You see there is a very strange shift that has been going on in Portland over the last few years. Too many people are getting in on the fun and ruining it for everyone else. That is really shitty of them and it begs the question, why can't we all just get along? Oh wait that's not it, it is why can we all just have some fun?

I have not figured out why people think that if you get together with 900 other people dressed as Santa you can't just enjoy the moment and have fun drinking and being stupid. It always ends up with someone doing a table slide or being pissed off that they have to wait for their drink or picking a fight because Santa is being a little naughty with Mrs Claus... Santa WTF! Is this the spirit of Santacon?

I have no idea what is going on with Santacon this year. It will be someplace in Port-hillsb-gresh-land. My Santacon is going to be at the Greenway Tavern. Saturday at noon I'm going to put on my finest unwashed Santa suit, walk a few blocks to my local pub and drink a few beers. If anyone asks I will bolt out a few dirty carols, maybe soil myself and pass out. Sounds great doesn't it?

If you want to have a memorable Santacon I suggest you call a few friends, pick up a Santa suit and go to the local pub to sing a few carols an tip a few back. You know it is what Santa wants you to do.

Yours Truly,
KeepSantaWierd.org